Let's talk about love :)

Title macam la tajuk movie. It's just that I noticed that love is a already a distant topic to me. Maybe it's due to work commitment, or just that as you go older you become more matured and practical, which means you become less emotional and romantic... not adding the fact that by this time, most of the men you meet are already married, engaged or have a stable relationship which also means that you have pretty limited options. But, not to worry because jodoh is all ketentuan, you have no say over it...

I used to be a very romantic kind of girl... or the words that i use today "stupid". I used to believe that when I meet the right person, I will know it. So, when I had this huge crush over a guy I met in my teens, I really do believe that he's the one for me... and I waited for him to realize that I am the one for him... for a freaking 4 years!! I never confess my feelings face to face because I've my pride and its huge hehe... but I knew then that he knew that I like him, and he also knew that I knew that he knew, because everybody knew (so much for my pride la kan).

In the end, "we" didn't happen. I was crushed, brokenhearted, rebound, crushed again (there's a long story here), and picked myself up again - my study was already tunggang langgang at this point. Then I fell in love with another guy, and I thought "oh, maybe its him". But it didn't work out as well... and so the story recycled with few others.

The point is, I DON'T KNOW and I don't have the right instinct on who might be the right guy. It definitely is not like in those romance movies or novels where you can stop weddings just because you know he's the one for you, and he would run to you after you said "STOP!!!". In real life, if you do the same, you could be the hate object of the guy you loved not to mention his wife :P and you could lose your lifetime chance to be even just friends.

So, now that I am more practical, I would try not to fall in love with a guy, unless I truly believe that he feels the same way... or until he confess his love for me. Mutual understanding or paham2 sendiri is a no-no option. More than words is also not an option. Instinct or gut feeling also have to be avoided. This is the heart protection plan and I hope that this time it would work, because I am tired. Wish me luck :)